In the Backyard...Getting Ready for the Next At-Bat with Guest Coach CJ Evans

Today's Play: Our guest discusses the differences between coaching young athletes and college players, emphasizing resilience, teamwork, and the mental side of softball. She also provides valuable insights into the recruiting process, including what coaches look for in players beyond athletic ability, and offers advice for parents on how to best support their children’s sports journey.

Today's Coach:  CJ is the owner of CJ's perfect practice, a baseball and softball hitting instruction company. In college, CJ was the starting catcher for Western Washington's NAIA national championship team. After college, she was the assistant coach and head hitting instructor at University of Virginia for five seasons. During her time there, UVA hitters were ranked 15th in the nation among all NCAA division one schools. CJ was inducted into Western Washington's Hall of Fame in 2011. 

To learn more about Bryant College Coaching, and download our new e-book, click here or go to www.bryantcollegecoaching.com

Picking Teams: A Playbook for Parents is produced by: Amy Bryant and Sasha Melamud

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Chapters

• 0:08 Coach CJ Evans Journey in Sports
• 5:49 Transition from College to Private Coaching
• 9:32 Recruiting and Characteristics of College Athletes
• 19:18 Team Culture and Parental Involvement
• 27:30 Life Lessons and Parental Support
• 27:45 Final Thoughts and Advice for Parents

Transcript

Amy Bryant: 0:08

Amy, welcome to picking teams a podcast that dives into the playbooks of seasoned coaches. I'm your host. Amy Bryant, a 23 year veteran college coach, and my guests hail from the professional college and youth ranks. Together, we'll share real stories from our coaching experiences to empower you as parents to be positive forces in your child's sports journey. Our guest today is Coach CJ Evans. CJ is the owner of CJ perfect practice, a baseball and softball hitting instruction company. Prior to her time working as a private coach, she was the assistant coach and head hitting instructor at University of Virginia for five seasons. During her time there, UVA hitters were ranked 15th in the nation among all NCAA division one schools. Hi, CJ, thanks for being here today. We're so glad to have you.

CJ Evans: 1:08

Thanks for having me.

Amy Bryant: 1:09

Yeah. So to start off with, why don't you tell us a little bit about your journey through sports. You're a very accomplished athlete yourself, so you can start off maybe telling us a little bit about your youth sports journey to college, and then, of course, to coaching college and now coaching privately.

CJ Evans: 1:29

Yeah, so Well, I started playing when I was pretty young. I grew up with brothers. And so when you grew up with brothers, I think you start off being pretty tough and pretty competitive at a very young age. And so softball was a great outlet for me, and the kids in my neighborhood all played in the street, and so when I started playing on a team, I just really took to it, and I loved it. And I was always a lot bigger than the other kids. When I was 12, I was full grown at five, nine, and so because I was a pretty big kid, I could hit hard and I could hit hard and I could throw hard, and thank goodness my parents saw that and got me involved in softball and not ballet. I think ballet could have been a different story. So I found my passion for softball at a pretty young age, and played all through high school. And you know, I think, like most student athletes, I went through ups and downs where there were times where I thought, Oh, this is hard. Do I really want to do this? But I was surrounded by people who encouraged me and who helped me find my way and and at a moment where I wasn't sure what my future would hold, when I was looking at colleges and trying to make a decision if I wanted to go, you know, live in another state and play or stay closer to home, or even if I wanted to play in college, I had a coach approach me and just say all the right things and and provide an opportunity for me at Western Washington University, which was about four hours from my home, which meant I could be close to my friends and my family, and it was an up and coming program. He was really excited about the recruits that were coming in, and he told me that I would have a good chance to play there, and he had high hopes of winning a championship. And it was everything that I needed to hear. And Western was what I was looking for academically. It was a competitive school, and the pieces fit together. So once I got to Western I really felt like I found myself I was surrounded by very competitive women who just wanted to do everything they could to be the best athletes they could be, and that just was everything that I wanted at that point. And so we worked really hard together. We had a coach that was very focused on teaching fundamentals and mechanics down to the smallest detail. And because of that, many of us went on to coach because he focused so much on teaching us the basics of the game down to the tiny details, you know, including hitting, which has become my passion, but you know, everything from small things you can do with your glove to field to ground ball, or working on the spin when you're hitting the ball off of the bat, how to get the ideal spin off of the off of the bat. So because of his commitment to those details, we became a very successful team. We won a national championship while I was there, which was maybe the highlight of my college career. And after I graduated, I went on to coach at a community college, Skagit Valley College, which was about 30 minutes from Western where I graduated, and I coached a travel team at the same time. And because I was coaching that travel team, I had a lot of players that were really strong athletes, and I took that team to big tournaments. And while we were at big tournaments, I got to meet coaches at University of Washington and UMass and University of Virginia, and through those conversations and building those relationships, I got a job offer that next year to come to University of Virginia and be the hitting instructor. So that was sort of a huge moment in my life, because I was realizing that, you know, softball was my real passion and the thing that I loved, and it was just really fun to think that I could build a career around this thing that I had enjoyed since I was eight years old and and pass it along to to the younger kids.

Amy Bryant: 5:31

It's amazing. And it's so amazing to hear how much influence that one coach, your coach, from Western Washington, really had on you and your life journey right your path to your career, and that's that's really why I wanted to start this podcast, actually, was to emphasize the impact that coaches have on our youth and their future. So for you, now that you have your own private coaching practice actually here in your backyard. And for our listeners who don't know, this interview is taking place in person, not virtually, which I love, because I've known CJ for a long time, and she has this incredible setup in her backyard with her coaching paraphernalia.

Unknown: 6:23

So once I became a parent, I it's tough to be a college coach. The time commitment is is pretty over the top. And so when I left college coaching, I knew that I wanted to continue coaching. And so over the years, I sort of figured out that because hitting is my favorite thing to coach, doing it one on one is a pretty, pretty great way to stay in the game, and so we built a cage in the backyard, and that's where I do most of my private lessons. So it's pretty good life.

Amy Bryant: 6:57

I love it. How does working with the youth compare to working with college students? Well,

Unknown: 7:03

I mean, they're both incredibly satisfying in different ways. I think obviously, Division One athletes are very accomplished when they arrive. When I first meet them, they're good enough to play at that level. And, you know, they've worked really hard to build a beautiful swing, and they're very protective of it. And so I think when working with college athletes, it's more tinkering and looking at their swing and looking for ways that they can maybe get a little bit more power out of a small piece of maybe the way that they're turning their hips, or maybe the angle of their barrel. And so I think with older players, you're looking at fine tuning, maybe helping them with their approach at the plate, maybe helping them learn what they're going to see at the college level, from from pitchers, and helping them just have a higher level approach at the plate, at both levels. You know you're working on helping them be resilient athletes. Because in softball, you're going to fail a lot, you know, if you're successful one out of three times, you're one of the best in the game, and so that means twice you're, you know, to strike out. And so I think what's really important, and was really important at Virginia, was teaching those athletes how to handle failure and how to deal with the fact that you're not going to be perfect, and you're going to have a lot of games that you strike out three times, and you got to pick yourself up, you got to put your nose down and get to work and figure out what areas of your swing need improvement so that you'll be more prepared and ready for those next at bats. So resilience is a big thing, and I think with young people, with some of them, I'm starting off with real basic, I mean, down to the very beginning parts of the swing, which is fun for different reasons. You know, to see a kid swing and miss 10 times, and then they hit that ball the first time and their face just lights up. You know, it's it feels so good to help young kids, but also help them to learn that that failure is a big part of our sport, and it's also a part of life and And so helping them learn that, that we don't give up, that when things are hard and when we're swinging and missing and it feels like we're never going to get it if we just keep our head down and keep working, don't give up, then all of a sudden, you can do things that felt impossible Not very long ago. And so I think that's one of the things that feels the best about coaching is helping young people realize that, you know, they just put the time in and that they just, you know, keep working and keep working, then they can do amazing things. So I mean, that's that's true at both levels, but definitely with the younger kids you're just working on, you know, keeping their heads still, making sure that they're seeing the ball in the very beginning, where, with those older players, they got that figured out a long time ago.

Amy Bryant: 9:48

Yeah, well, and if they did it, they're struggling through it, right? And they're figuring they're figuring it out. So when you were at Virginia and you were recruiting, what were the characteristics that you looked for in in those recruits.

Unknown: 10:03

Well, I mean, number one, the most important thing is that they just have to be great athletes. I mean, they have to have a very high level of athleticism to play at that level. And so some of the things that you're looking for just power and explosiveness, you're looking at foot speed. You're looking at how hard they're able to throw and and how they field their position and, and I love to look at hitting mechanics and just make sure that they have a swing that's that's going to be successful against elite hitting. So that's the number one thing. You have to find people who you know, have the back speed and have the athleticism to compete at that high level. And at Virginia, it was a very academic school, and so pretty tough to get in. And so in order for a kid to thrive at Virginia, or maybe I should say, survive at Virginia, they have to be pretty serious academically. And so we would look at their grades, and that was that carried a lot of weight. We needed kids who were not only successful in the field, but successful in the classroom, because when you bring in a kid to play at Virginia, if they don't survive, if they don't, they can't pass their classes, then you lose a roster spot. And so that can really hurt a team if, if you choose someone in the end and they can't make it academically. So number one, athleticism. Number two, you know, strong academics. And then I think one of the big things is, you know, you're looking for kids who are out there and who just really love competing. You're looking for competitive kids, and a lot of times you can see it in their body language, the way that they play the game. You know, are they hustling off? You'll, you know, are they? Are they fired up and excited and dug out? Are they talking to their teammates in a positive way? Are they listening to their coaches with respect? And, you know, I even care about how they talk to their parents. I remember this. I was in Colorado at a big tournament, and I was watching several kids and comparing them. They were about the same level athletically, and so I sat real close to the dugout, and I was watching a kid, and she was very good athlete, and academics fit. And in the middle of the game, she came out of the dugout, and I see her, and she looks over at her mom, and she shouted, they read the most disrespectful way. I could not believe that someone, first of all, that speak to someone in that way, let alone their mother in public. And I thought to myself, Okay, well, when you bring in a student athlete to your program, you are with them every day. I mean, sometimes you're traveling on a bus for 10 days and you are with them, 24/7, you sort of become their parent. You sort of become a member of their family. There's that level of comfort that happens when you spend that much time together. And if this is the respect that this kid shows their parent, that's probably the level of respect we're going to see down the line. And so I crossed that kid off the list. I walked away from that field, I thought I would never allow someone to speak to me that way. And I do not want to bring that in. And I think that's what's important for student athletes to know. Like, there are a lot of great athletes out there. There are a lot of very strong athletes who are competing for spots. And so, you know, coaches are looking for for kids that fit into the culture that they're trying to build. And you know, what is a championship culture? I think it's, it's a culture of resilience. I mean, obviously you want very competitive athletes who are out there and who are willing to do what it takes and work day in and day out to be successful. But also, you want to see what happens when things get hard. And, you know, I love to watch kids, you know, through their successes. But also, I like to see what happens when they fail. You know, what does a kid do after they strike out? Are they going into the dugout and blame it on the umpire that the umpire made a bad call? Are they throwing their their their bat and their helmet. That's not the kind of culture I like, you know? I like a kid who's, you know, they're upset. They're going to be angry for a minute, but then they know they got to be there for that team and the next play, and they're going to hustle back out of the field, and they're going to give it their best effort wherever they can help the team. And then their next at bat, they're going to make some adjustments, because it's on them, and maybe before they have a next step, and maybe they go out and take a few swings and they work through whatever went wrong in their swing. So when the going gets tough, I'm looking for athletes who put their nose down and get to work, you know, not someone who's going to be pointing fingers and and blaming other people, because I think that's how you're going to become the best athlete you can become, you know, someone who really looks at themselves first to see, what can I do to help win this game. It's on me. You know, I'm working as a team, but I want to do everything I can do. And so when you're watching a player, I think a lot of times you can see that. You can see in the way that they cheer their teammates on and and the way that they talk to their coach. And I think, you know, the team culture is something that every coach really cares about, because you have a kid, you bring in a kid, and maybe they don't fit into that culture, and it can really destroy a team. I mean, it can a negative attitude. Can become like a cancer within the team, and all of a sudden you have people complaining about things not going the way that they wish they would go. You know, team culture? Yeah,

Amy Bryant: 15:25

well, those are some really important characteristics for our listeners to consider, particularly our parents, as they are trying to support their student athletes in the recruiting process. So thanks for that. I especially love that you talked about how important the academic piece is and how you definitely had to check their statistics and make sure they are aligned with what the University of Virginia was looking for in their students. Did you ever recruit a player who might not have gotten in on their own and really needed your support the admissions office get onto that team and get into that school.

Unknown: 16:05

Yeah, absolutely. So at the time it was, it was very hard to get into Virginia. So, you know, we would always try to get kids on in on their own, because each year we had four spots where we could bring kids into the university with less a lower GPA and lower SAT scores than others who were admitted. And so I think at the time, we had hard time getting kids in if they were under maybe 1450, sat and a 4.0 so it was, it was, Wow, pretty hard to get in. But like I said, we had four spots. And so there was a an athlete who was an absolutely incredible athlete and a really neat person and a tough kid, and we took a chance on her. And you know, when you bring a kid in like that, you know that, you know that the GPA is quite a bit lower than the students that they're going to be around and the test scores and and so I think you know, as a coach, you want to make sure that they have the resources available. And she was a kid who just really took it upon herself, you know, she took advantage of the tutoring that was available at the school, and she worked really hard, and she ended up being, you know, one of the top athletes I ever coached, and she went on to get her master's degree, and I think she is a college professor now, and so it's really neat to see that when you provide an opportunity to a kid, you know, she really took advantage of it and went on to break things, and she's also still coaching, yeah, so, you know, academically, that's a great example of somebody who we got in and she really thrived. We also had other kids that that didn't take advantage of the of the help, and I think when you go away to school, sometimes there are abstractions and parties. We did have some kids who did not make it. Usually, you know, we have a safety net to protect kids and to help them find their way. But we did have some cases that kids didn't make it. And then culturally, you know, sometimes you recruit a kid in and they, they come to campus that first week, and you realize, ooh, all right, this is maybe not what we thought we saw when we did have some instances of kids who were just, you know, they brought some challenges into onto that field. You know, I think when you have a strong team culture, and you have a team of kids who really want to win and want to compete at a high level, you know, we all work together to break that kid in and build them into the culture. But you know, you have kids who show up so you wear like a practice uniform to practice. So, you know, we would give the kids shorts and T shirts that they would wear, and each day we would have a specific practice uniform that we wore. And you know, the reason is that it's just sharp, and it makes them feel a part of the team, and it makes them play as a team when they look like a team. And and this kid, she just could never wear the right outfit, and she never had that shirt. And, you run when somebody's not wearing the right fit. And man, that team ran so many times for that kid, and you know, eventually she turned it around, eventually she got figured out. But sometimes it takes a little bit more effort. And I think that's why you build a strong team culture, so that you know when you have a team of leaders, players on the team who were going to help uphold that culture. That's a lot easier on the coaches, absolutely everybody in line.

Amy Bryant: 19:28

And having that team culture is part of the safety net, right? I mean, that's part of how you get these kids through. There's always a story like that. I mean, I can go back to my coaching days, and there was always that one that just, I mean, I had a kid once that like came to Emory and had never done her hair on her own, like her mother had always done her hair. So she came to Emory, didn't have her mother there, and she showed up at practice on first day with very long hair just blowing all over the place. She's hitting balls, and there's hair flying everywhere, and I finally pulled her aside. I'm like, do you need to borrow a rubber band? Do you know? And she's like, you know? And I could just see there's something else going on. She just didn't know how to do it. So the girls the team culture kind of embraced her. They taught her how to do her hair. But I mean, there are moments like that, like those stories, they stick with you for years.

Unknown: 20:24

I love that so much that I think that's one of the beauties of playing a college sport, you know, is that you're out there on your own for the first time, and you're surrounded by these athletes with a common goal, you know. And it's, there's just nothing like the sisterhood that happens out on that field. You know. You're gonna go through some some extreme highs and extreme lows together, and it's just really neat that a team would come together and help that kid with whatever they're going through and and pull them through. I think that's the beauty of college athletics, absolutely,

Amy Bryant: 20:52

absolutely it is. And speaking of that, is there one like specific coaching memory that you have, that you really hold to the most dear

CJ Evans: 21:02

Well, you know. So I have to say the first one that pops into my mind was when we beat Florida State. And I think I have to build that up to say that Florida State is like the Darth Vader or the ACC, you know, they're just so good. They were so good. And they, you know, their facility was incredible. And they just, they brought in such great athletes and and they were just so tough to beat. And usually they they beat us. And there was this one particular game, and I don't remember all the details, but I just remember it felt so good to beat them Florida State. You know, they packed their stands with fans. They're just more fans at Florida State than anywhere else, and and they're and their students section is just awful. I mean, they're heckling and they're yelling and they're they're shouting obscenities and inappropriate things to our players. And so we're preparing them like, hey, it's going to be tough. You got to not listen to them. And so it just sort of feels like you're going into battle every time you play them. And boy, to beat them. I don't know that I've ever felt so great to beat a team that was pretty big one, but, you know, I think about success out there on the field, and I think, you know, one of the things that probably felt just as good as as being in Florida State, is seeing athletes and some of the things that they go through. And I think when you're a part of a team, and when you're coaching a team like this, I mean, you've got like, 16 women that all bring their life with them, and they're in college, and they're away from home for the first time, and there's just a lot that they're going through. And you know, to be with young people as they're going through those things, and then also competing and going through hard times, it's, I think, you see them in these very, very low moments, and then, you know, to see them be successful just feels so good a kid that pops out, an athlete from Arizona, and she was, she'd been a good player, she was a utility player, played infield and outfield, and had been decent hitters. She was about a 200 hitter, which is not bad in the ACC that's, you know, you're facing very competitive pitching, and and she did all right, but she you had some young players coming in, and she was looking that, you know, she in the fall, she hadn't won a starting position. And so she came to me, and she said, it was my senior year. I really want to start this year. What's it going to take? And so I said, Well, you know, you hit 200 right now, and you know, it would make a big difference if you had the biggest bat. And so she said, All right, I want to do that. And she committed to it. And, you know, she said, I want to hit every day. I want to I want to tune, do whatever it takes. I want to make whatever adjustments I need to make. And she really did it. She would come in, or come in early in the in the day, or stay late after practice. And every day, she can say, sometimes it was just 30 minutes, sometimes it was over an hour, but she just got her reps in, and she worked through it. She put her nose down. And instead of complaining, oh, I'm a I'm a senior, my coach doesn't start me. Oh, it's, it's the umpire's fault that I struck out or, you know, finding other people to blame. Instead, she said, You know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna make a difference. I'm gonna go out and do this. And she worked her tail off. And when season came around, she was ready, and she earned her starting spot. And that season, she hit over 300 and so that's when I think back to some of my favorite memories. It's like seeing a kid battle through hard things, and you know what they're going through personally, and then to commit to something and really work their tail off and earn it. I mean, is there a greater feeling as a coach to see someone just really, you know, become better than they realize they could become through their hard work. I mean, it's a beautiful thing, yeah, and

Amy Bryant: 25:02

that's really what coaching is all about, isn't it? Those success stories? Well, good. You shared so many great insights about coaching and things that our student athletes really need to think about as they pursue the next level to college athletics. Everything that you mentioned are things that coaches you know really, really are scrutinizing about their future athletes. So let's switch gears for just a minute, and let's talk about some of the parents that we work with too. Because, as we know, every athlete comes to us with with parents. And yeah, I just, I would love to hear some stories about parents that you work with, whether at the youth level, or maybe some funny stories that you have from when you were at Virginia. I mean, now, now you're definitely working with parents, because they're paying you. They're paying your bills directly. So, yeah, what comes to mind for you?

CJ Evans: 26:03

Well, I mean, I think one of the big things that I've seen a lot of times, you know, the parent is more driven than the kid, and so I think that that's something that I could see through the recruiting process when I was at Virginia, that, you know, sometimes it's the parent who's making the phone call, it's the parent who's putting out the effort, and you don't really see that same drive from the kid. And so I think, as a parent, our job is not to steamroll the path for our kids. You know, I think if your kid wants to be a student athlete, it is a really, tough thing to do. I mean, these practices are four hours a day practicing 20 hours a week. You know, you're going to miss some classes. You got to work really hard to keep up your grades. It's not an easy path for these kids. And I think for a student to become a student athlete in college, they really have to be committed to it, and it has to be coming from them and their desire, and it's almost an irrational desire to want to work that hard. And so I think if the parent is the one doing all the work, and the parent is the one, you know, pushing and making the phone calls, it's, it's a real red flag that you know this isn't coming from that that kid and their desire to to play at the next level, that it's probably not going to work out. And so I think you know, as a parent, you know we can guide our kids, and we can provide opportunities for them, and we can show them, you know, what it's going to take, but I think they're the ones who who have to take those steps and have to be the ones to make the tough phone calls and and put themselves into tough positions. To, you know, get in front of those coaches, because it carries so much more weight when it's coming from the student athlete. Absolutely. And what are some signs that you've seen out of kids, or that maybe parents can look for in their kids to tell them to back off.

Amy Bryant: 28:00

Well, I mean, I think body language is pretty huge. You know, you look at a kid and and if, if a parent is sort of taking over the the conversation, you can see the students sort of cringing. This is not who I am. This is not what I want. And so, I mean, I really strongly suggest that we just we, we let our kids sort of guide us and what they want and help them find their way. Because, you know, if a kid really wants something, that coach is going to be able to tell if the kid really does not care, is pretty indifferent, and that also is pretty clear to the coach that you know, who's, who's the one driving the ship it, you know, it needs to be the one who's actually going to do the work. Absolutely. It's a great, great, great point for you to make to our parents, what are some values that you see our young people being taught today?

Unknown: 29:00

Well, this is a big one, because, I think because, you know, I have sons who play baseball, and, you know, softball has always been a life. I think this is, it's a team sport. And I think that because recruiting, you know, being being recruited, is such a competitive process. It really. Youth sports can be a very unhealthy environment in that young people are learning, you know, to compete as an individual, and that now their personal stats matter more to them than, you know, the the win loss record. And I think that's one of the things that's hardest for me to watch that, you know, I watch kids out there, and it's just become very selfish that, you know, they're focused on their own performance. And it seems like we've lost sometimes we we've lost that. You know, the goal is to compete as a team and learn how to play in a team environment and to win. And so turning a team sport into an individual sport is just, I think it takes a lot of the fun out of it, and, and we miss the big point. You know, one of the special things about being a part of a team is that you are even that you're not always going to have your best day. And, and you know, if you're having a rough game, your teammates are going to pick you up. And I think that's one of the beautiful things that happens in a team sport. And if you're out there feeling like you're competing by yourself, because you know your stats are the only one that matters. Think you miss out on the greatest part of playing on the team. You know, fact that you have teammates,

Amy Bryant: 30:29

I totally agree with you. You know, I coached what's considered to be a quote, unquote individual sport for a very long time, tennis, and I've seen kind of the same trend, though, and that is the communicating about your ranking. Only, it's not like, you know, it's the first question people ask is, what's your what's your new TR ranking, or what's your USDA ranking, or what's your how many stars you have? Well, wait a minute, well, what's the right question to be asking here? Like as a parent, for example, if we get caught up in the stats and we get caught up in the rankings like I think we need to take a step back again, what should we be clued into? And that is, are kids having fun? Are they supporting and being supported by the other kids they're training with, or the other kids that that are on the team? Are they learning important values and lessons that they can take with them into life beyond the sport? Because it's not all about the rankings and the stats, and that's that's not what's going to carry them into the future, and it might be something that a recruiting coach is looking for, right? You've got to hit the marks. But it's not the end all and be all. And I think that's really important to remember that that our kids are not defined by these stats and by these rankings. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, why? Why do we put kids in sports? You know? Why is it a positive experience for them? I just think so many things can be learned through their sport. You know, playing, being a part of a team. You can learn leadership. You can learn, you know, don't scare on the team and and, you know, there are so many life lessons that can be learned through a sport that you just miss out on if your focus is on the wrong things. I think such a small percentage of kids actually do go on to be college athletes. I think it's pretty important that along the way, you're having a good experience. Because, you know, if you're only focused from the very beginning, is that I will be a college athlete, and I will do this. I think, you know, it's important to take time and enjoy playing this game that you know it might end. One day it will end, and you know you want to look back and look on that time and just remember your time with your teammates, and the beautiful things that you share on that field carry so much more weight in my mind, and the life lessons that can be learned are so much more important than you know your exit velocity and your batting average, you know, those are some details that coaches are looking at. But it's so much bigger than that, so much bigger. That's so true. And so for you, growing up, you know, you had two brothers that also played sports, and you're a high achieving athlete yourself. What are some things that your parents did to support you.

Unknown: 33:23

Well, you know, it's interesting thinking back, I think about, you know, they obviously, you know, took me to all my games, and, you know, followed me all around the country playing. And at the time, you know, we were, we would play in Chicago. I lived in Washington State at the time, and we would play in Illinois, and we would play in Oklahoma, we would play in Colorado, and all over the country we were traveling. And so think about what a huge sacrifice that was for my parents to to make that work for me and also my brothers at the same time. And I think, Boy, I don't know if I if I have that in me to do that for my kids. You know, we're pretty lucky in the baseball is so strong in Georgia, so we don't have to travel, but they sacrificed so much for me to be able to do that. But the other thing that I was thinking about is that they didn't really, they were involved in in the levels of my performance, meaning they didn't ever know my batting average. They didn't ever know my 60 time. You know, that was between me and my coaches. That was, that was not something that was family conversation around the table, that was not something that was really a part of their world. And so I think, in a way, that was a really positive thing for me, that it was, it was mine, and I owned it. It wasn't an expectation that they were putting on me, like, you got to run faster, you got to hit harder, you got to throw harder. That was all between me and my coaches. And I think that was a really healthy thing that you know it was, it was something that I wanted, and I wanted to get better at, and so I was the one putting in the work to make that happen. It wasn't coming from pressure from them. I think that was really healthy for me.

Amy Bryant: 35:00

That's a great point. And when I think about a conversation that I had once with Billie Jean King, actually, and it wasn't a private conversation, she was talking to all of Emory athletics, and it was just a remarkable opportunity. But one thing that she shared with us is that her parents never asked when she came home from a match whether she won or whether she lost. They just welcomed her in. Asked if she had a good time at tennis today. And then, you know, they dinner together as family, and they didn't talk about it. That was it. So, you know, she had complete ownership over her future. There wasn't any pressure coming from home, and look how successful she was, and you know how successful you are as well. So that's, I think, a great lesson for our parents. So I guess, to wrap things up now, you know, you mentioned your boys, what does it look like when you're at their baseball games? I were to watch CJ Evans at a baseball game, which, you know, they are long, long, long events, right? What does that look like? Are you hanging on the fence like some of those baseball I mean, you know what you're doing so

Unknown: 36:17

well. Sometimes I'd be like, you know, my husband and I coached them for so many years, so we really were involved, which was very fun, and I loved being in the dugout with them, and I love being able to coach them through their hitting. But, you know, as they've gotten older, they really don't want me around, and so I sit in the stands, and sometimes I sit far away in the stands, because it's easy for me to watch if I'm not watching the little details and and wanting to pick things apart. And I think, you know, my goal is that I just watch them and let them enjoy the game, and watch them enjoy the game, and I clap the loudest. But you know, realistically, sometimes that requires me to maybe have a crochet project, because it's hard. It's hard to watch your kids compete when, you know, I sometimes I used to say that I enjoyed watching them play basketball more because I didn't play basketball. And I, I don't know the things that the best basketballs do, and so it was very easy for me to watch them play basketball. I thought everything they did was just the greatest thing I ever seen. And so, you know, I try not to be critical when they're playing, and I try to make sure that I point out and congratulate them on all their successes and and try to just allow their coaches to do the coaching and let them pick it apart. Because, you know, when I think, when you've been on the coaching side, you know what it's like when parents are shouting from the stands, you know, get your bubble up the first thing, it's not helpful to coach from the standouts. And so, you know, I really don't allow myself to yell things, except, you know, just clapping and cheering during the game, which takes a lot of discipline. I'm sure, you know,

Amy Bryant: 37:53

it's a lot of discipline. But man, this, this parents that are that are shouting from the stands, and they're, they're trying to be louder than the coach and the kid, you can see the kid on the field, and they're looking to their parents and they're looking to their coach, it's like, that is a no win situation, because they're like, can't just play, and they know they're supposed to be listening to coach, but they also are pulled in so many directions because they feel like they should be listening to their parents, and it's just yeah. So yeah, I think that's a great lesson to our families. If you can't keep it quiet, then you start crocheting. Oh, that's good, yeah. Okay. Well, thanks CJ for being here today. We really appreciate you. You're an awesome guest. We want to have you back again. And yeah, good luck with all of your current softball and baseball players. I know they're they're all excelling under your tubular issue. Oh, thanks amy. Thanks for tuning in for today's play. Join us next time to hear more insights from another outstanding coach. Until then, remember, as you navigate the ups and downs of your child's sports journey, you're not just picking teams, you're building character and resilience and creating lifelong memories